Home > Uncategorized > Dangerously close to not starting.

Dangerously close to not starting.

So I’ve gone two weeks without posting anything up here. Old habits are hard to break. It’s horrible being lazy, but even worse when you know that you are lazy. It’s rock bottom when you start hoping you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome just to have an excuse for being so fucking lazy.

I’m trying not to let myself down this time. I’ve tried before to do blogs like this and I’ve started stories and scripts with huge intentions of writing something amazing and stopped after 500 words, thinking ‘right, quick cup of tea and an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm and I’ll crack on with this story’. Of course it never happens.

I’ve also tried to start diets lately. I’ve started reading Men’s Health. That’s how seriously I’m taking this. I bought trainers and tracksuit bottoms and was serious about starting running. A few months ago after work one day I went out for a run in a nearby park. I must have ran for literally fifty seconds until my legs told me to fuck off and die. So I walked around the park. I was exhausted after twenty minutes and got the bus home. I tried again more recently and had more luck, actually going running twice in one week with every intention of doing it more. That was about six weeks ago. I haven’t even walked briskly since then. My belly and tits are growing.

What is it about me not finishing things that I start? Am I that lazy, fat and pathetic that I just can’t be bothered to get my life on track? If it weren’t for the deadlines and the thousands of pounds that I owe I’d say I wouldn’t have finished University.

I want to change my personality. Is that possible? I’ve been thinking about reading self help books and going on courses but I feel like that’s a bit pathetic as well. I’m not saying that people who do those things are pathetic, but I know that if I did do those things it would only temporarily make me feel like I was doing something about it. I have to just start doing shit. Finish what I start, and start with the intention of finishing. Or else what will I do when I run out of tea and sitcoms?

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. June 16, 2011 at 11:47 am

    http://www.c25k.com/ to get you started on running lad. Couch to 5k in a matter of weeks. – R

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